Cassie Ventura is not letting victim shaming stop her from sharing her difficult story

There were moments when Cassie Ventura did not seem comfortable in the spotlight, perhaps because of what she now says was happening in the shadows. The star witness against Sean “Diddy” Combs in his sex-trafficking trial, Ventura will give voice to the disturbing abuse allegations against Combs, her ex-boyfriend and former producer. Combs has pleaded not guilty to charges that include racketeering conspiracy, sex trafficking and transportation to engage in prostitution. The woman who was often the quiet beauty on Combs’ arm at events for more than a decade has opened herself up to the judgment that comes for almost all women who accuse men, especially celebrities, of wrongdoing. Nsenga K. Burton, a film producer, journalist and founder of “The Burton Wire,” told CNN the shame that surrounds accounts like Ventura’s - in which there are allegations of both domestic violence and sexual assault - is not unexpected. “When we think about shame, shame is a tool, a weapon used against women who are involved in relationships with complicated men,” Burton said. ‘Souvenirs of the most humiliating nights of her life’ Ventura is at the heart of the criminal case against Combs. In the government’s opening statement, Assistant US Attorney Emily Johnson described the alleged abuse and coerced-participation Ventura experienced in choreographed - at times videotaped - sexual encounters with male escorts that Combs called “Freak Offs.” “The defendant told Cassie that if she defied him again, he would publicly release the videos of her having sex with male escorts that he kept as blackmail,” Johnson said.“Souvenirs of the most humiliating nights of her life.” “He beat her when she didn’t answer the phone when he called. He beat her when she left a freak-off without his permission,” Johnson continued. “He beat her when he thought she took too long in the bathroom. The defendant taught Cassie that defying him could and often would end in violence. And when she tried to run away, he always found her.” In her 2023 civil lawsuit against Combs, which was quickly settled without Combs admitting wrongdoing, Ventura painted a dark picture of a relationship that appeared golden in public. Ventura, now 38, first met Combs, now 55, when she was a 19-year-old singer. Their longterm relationship played out, off and on, between 2007 and 2018. Behind closed doors, she alleged, Combs controlled all aspects of her personal life, forced her to engage in sex acts with other men and “introduced” her to a lifestyle of “excessive alcohol and substance abuse.” When Ventura tried to end her relationship with Combs in 2018, she alleged that he forced his way into her home and raped her. Combs has denied her allegations. Ventura, according to her complaint, still suffers from “immense emotional distress” and at one point she checked into an inpatient rehabilitation center after having suicidal thoughts she linked to abuse. Collette Gee is a domestic and sexual assault survivor who uses her experience as a psychiatric nurse and certified violence prevention specialist in her work as an author and relationship coach. She said Ventura finds herself in a situation familiar to many others who have accused someone they were in a relationship with of wrongdoing: public scrutiny. “The first thing that we need to do is stop asking survivors why did you stay and start asking what made it impossible for her to safely leave that relationship,” Gee told CNN. “And that shift is, in my opinion, long overdue especially when the [alleged] abuser holds wealth and power and influence like Diddy does.” The attempts to discredit women like Ventura discount the reality of their lives, Gee said. Combs’ defense team on Monday described his relationship with Ventura as “mutually” violent and said all their sexual encounters were consensual. “In an abusive relationship it’s critical that we understand that a victim defending themselves is not the same as two people being mutually violent,” Gee said. “Sometimes a victim may strike out in fear and desperation, but that doesn’t make the abuse equal.” Women as property Burton pointed to a power imbalance with Combs and Ventura. “Whenever you have these high-profile cases, especially involving celebrities who are not equally yoked, where one is definitely more powerful, like one’s a mogul and the other is… there’s always shame brought on the other person,” Burton said. “It’s this idea that, ‘Well, you benefited from your association with this person, right?’ Who is Cassie without Diddy. This is what people think,” Burton said. “But that also just plays into sexism. The idea that women who are attached to super rich, wealthy men are really just objects to be paid for.” “It’s really because of the historic, power dynamics between men and women, and this idea that women truly are the property of men,” she added. During a 2018 appearance on the “Ebro in the Morning” show, Ventura, wearing sunglasses indoors and speaking with raspy voice, said she was there to support a short film she had made about her music, specifically the song, “Love A Loser.” “It’s just basically about a love story between a dysfunctional couple, which I’m sure we’re all familiar with,” she said at the time. The topic of a possible marriage Combs also came up. She expressed both admiration for the institution and hesitancy to commit to it. “For me, my lifestyle is so different than everyone else’s that I don’t know if marriage would be conducive to me sitting here with you right now and having my own stuff,” she said. “But I do believe in marriage. I do believe in love, whatever that is.” Ventura married personal trainer and actor Alex Fine in 2019 and the couple is expecting their third child in a few weeks. As she prepared to be called to the stand in the Combs case as early as Tuesday, Ventura’s attorney described her current state succinctly: “She’s very ready. She’s confident.”