Pomp and pageantry. People from different nations wearing camp costumes. A tense buildup before the winner is announced. But enough of the papal conclave. It’s time for May’s other main event: theEurovisionsong contest.
The eccentric extravaganza’s 69th edition – expect that number to be the subject of cheap innuendo – is being held in Basel, Switzerland. An audience of 160 million is expected to tune in for the usual heady mix of geopolitical point-scoring, cheesy sentiment and surreal performances.
The prelude to the annual Europop party has seen complaints about several songs’ lyrics and debates over Israel’s inclusion. On Saturday night at 8pm, though, it’s time for the squabbling to stop and the spectacle to begin. We’ve hand-crafted your ultimate viewing guide to the contenders, the coverage and the controversies. Altogether now: good evening, Europe – and good morning, Australia. This is Eurovision calling …
Eurovision results are notoriously tricky to predict but let’s try anyway. Of Saturday night’s 26 acts, France’s Louane – whose tearjerking Maman is addressed to her late mother – is the biggest on social media, with 1.2 million Instagram followers and 1.3 million on TikTok. Sweden’s entry, however, has the most popular song:Bara Bada Bastu– a sweaty ode to saunas by trio KAJ, joined by dancers in skimpy towels – has the most Spotify streams and YouTube views. It’s currently the bookies runaway favourite to make it a record eighth win for the Swedes.
Another hot tip is Austria’s JJ, who hopes to emulate his compatriot Conchita Wurst’s 2014 triumph with opera-meets-techno mashup Wasted Love. Iceland’s foil-clad siblings Væb have been dubbed, worryingly, “the Viking Jedward”. Their hyper electro-rap dittyRóa– which is about actual rowing, oar fans – was a chart-topper in their country and could be the sort of novelty that appeals to voters.
Also much fancied is San Marino’s Gabry Ponte withTutta L’Italia, an infectiously naff EDM celebration of all things Italian, composed by one of the “brains” behind Eiffel 65’s Blue (Da Ba Dee). “The Mona Lisa laughs but she’s in Paris,” he sings. Riiight.
We can look forward to some amusingly bananas dance bangers. Finland’s dominatrix diva Erika Vikman delivers a smutty paean to sexual emissions in gay disco homage Ich Komme which, ahem, climaxes with her soaring into the air astride a massive gold microphone that sprays sparks across the stage. Subtle.
Another Scandi-pop contender is Denmark’s Sissal, whose Euro-bop Hallucination sounds like a David Guetta thumper with guest vocals from an Adele tribute act. She’s flanked by dancers wearing what appear to be gimp suits. Enjoy, fetish fans.
Luxembourg is gunning for a sixth win with Laura Thorn’s La Poupée Monte le Son. It’s a response to France Gall’s 1965 winner Poupée de Cire, Poupée de Son, which was about a “fashion doll” operated by songwriting saucepot Serge Gainsbourg. Thorn’s empowered lyrics – “If you think a man like you can manipulate me, go back to your mummy” – are followed by a nagging “na na na” chorus. Textbook Eurovision nonsense.
Like last year, there have been calls to end Israel’s participation amid the ongoing war in Gaza. A ban on spectators waving Palestinian flags has been overturned, while Israeli fans have been warned about potential protests and antisemitic attacks. Their entrant is 24-year-old Yuval Raphael, who narrowly escaped with her life at the 2023 Nova festival in Israel. The lyrics of her gutsy ballad New Day Will Rise seem to refer to the tragedy.
Malta’s Miriana Conte was forced to hastily rewrite her shamelesslycamp numberafter complaints about swearing. It was originally titled Kant, the Maltese word for singing, which sounded like a certain C-word in the chorus about “serving kant”. She’s woven the kerfuffle into the cleaned-up version, meaning it now features an unlikely sample from BBC economics editor Faisal Islam in a Newsnight report on the story.
Estonia’s infernally catchyEspresso Macchiato– performed by Tommy Cash, a viral rapper who once appeared on a Charli xcx record – has been accused of insulting Italians with its stereotypical references to coffee-sipping, chain-smoking mafiosi. It also features the profound lyric “Life is like spaghetti, it’s hard until you make it”, all delivered in an accent worthy of a Dolmio ad.
The contest takes place in Switzerland following fluffy-jacketed Nemo becoming the first non-binary winner last year with operatic banger The Code. The venue is St Jakobshalle, a 12,000-capacity brutalist-style sports hall in Basel. Our hosts inside the arena are “slam poet” (yikes) Hazel Brugger, ex-model Michelle Hunziker and singer Sandra Studer, who represented her country in 1991 and finished fifth. Expect her to mention this rather too many times.
This year’s Swiss entry is Zoë Më with breathy balladVoyage. A young Céline Dion represented Switzerland in1988 and won. She sent a video message in Tuesday’s semi-final and has been in talks about returning for a surprise guest performance on Saturday which would be, well, titanic.
For the first time, the contest has a mascot: a heart-shaped monstrosity called Lumo. Its ginger curls and trout-pouty lips have seen it compared to the love child of Michael Fabricant and Mick Hucknall.
Le Royaume-Uni’s entry is girl group Remember Monday – confusingly, competing on a Saturday – with playful power-pop balladWhat the Hell Just Happened?The country-tinged trio describe themselves as “pop girlies with a lil’ bit of yee-haw”. Translation: they occasionally wear cowboy boots. They previously entered spinny-chaired contest The Voice, where they were mentored by Jennifer Hudson but didn’t win. An omen, one fears. They’re the first girl band to represent the UK since Precious in 1999. Nope, us neither.
UK fortunes have “done a Brexit” in recent decades. It’s 28 years sincewe won(arise, Katrina and your Waves). Since 2000, we’ve got the wooden spoon five times. Sam “Space Man” Ryder – half-Jesus, half-golden labrador – bucked the downward trend by finishingrunner-up in 2022. Normal service has since been resumed. Mae Muller was second from bottomin 2023and last year, Olly Alexander received nul points from the public vote.
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Unleash the sarky Irishman in a sparkly jacket! As is traditional, Eurovision will be broadcast live on BBC One and iPlayer with Graham Norton on commentary duties. When the late, great Terry Wogan retired in 2008 after an epic 35-year stint, Norton seamlessly slipped into his loafers as our tongue-in-cheek guide. “This is Marmite – if everyone hated Marmite,” he memorably said of Germany’s act in 2021, before adding about Serbia’s pop trio: “Less Destiny’s Child, more Destiny’s Inappropriate Aunt.”
We’d suggest popping on the subtitles for maximum enjoyment of the nonsensical song lyrics. If you want to assault your own eardrums but spare your eyeballs, Scott Mills and Rylan helm coverage on Radio 2 and BBC Sounds. Proceedings kick off at 8pm and are scheduled to finish at midnight but often overrun. Stock up on snacks, strap in and pace yourself.
As a timey-wimey warm-up, it’s preceded at 7.10pm by a Eurovision-themed episode of Doctor Who, titledThe Interstellar Song Contest. Action unfolds at the 803rd edition of a galaxy-wide singing competition, with cameos from Graham Norton and Rylan, plus other surprise Eurovision alumni. The Time Lord connection was due to continue during the contest itself, but sadly Ncuti Gatwa was forced to pull out of being UK spokesperson due to “unforeseen circumstances”. Instead, the British jury’s scores will be announced by kitchen disco diva Sophie Ellis-Bextor. Expect murder on the Euro dancefloor.
Tick off these 10 inevitabilities as you spot them on screen! Shout “Euro bingo bango!” when you’ve collected the set! Or don’t! It’s entirely up to you!
Staging involves a wind machine or revolving set.
An eastern European act takes to the stage in traditional costume.
Graham Norton becomes increasingly snarky as his own-label white wine kicks in.
A performer switches language mid-song, just to put us parochial Brits to shame.
Act strips off an item of clothing, a la Bucks Fizz’s skirts or Croatian shock rockers Let 3 in their Y-fronts.
Eye-rolls as a country gives douze points to one of its neighbours.
Hard rock act accompanied by flames and smoke machines.
Awkward satellite delay makes for stilted banter during jury results.
Norton mutters “Somebody’s dressed up” when a flamboyantly attired jury spokesperson appears.
Act blows kisses to camera and makes heart-hands gesture when they’re awarded douze points.
Going second in the running order is known as the “death slot”. No country performing second has ever won the contest. They have, however, finished last nine times.
There’s also a fabled “curse of green”. Received Euro-wisdom says that acts in green garb or with green-lit staging tend to fare badly.
Apparently, the most expensive props ever used were the two giant trumpets that flanked the UK’s James Newman in 2021. Despite the brass behemoths, he got nul points.
Ireland and Sweden are the most successful nations with seven wins apiece. However, Ukraine is right up there. It has won three times since its 2003 debut and is the only country to qualify for the grand final every year it has competed.
Cyprus is the least successful nation, having competed 40 times without winning. Norway have the most flops, finishing last 12 times, four of those with nul points.
Eurovision rules state that songs must not be longer than three minutes and no more than six people are allowed on stage. Live animals are also banned, sadly.
Bucks Fizz won for the UK in 1981 after wowing viewers with their rip-away skirts. Within 48 hours, Velcro had sold out across Britain.
There have been six barefoot winners, starting with the UK’s Sandie Shaw in 1967. The latest was Sweden’s two-time champion Loreen, who eschewed shoes in both 2012 and 2023.
The cloth-eared UK gave nul points to Abba’s Waterloo in 1974. They went on to win anyway and the song became a No 1 hit.
Eurovision Song Contest Grand Final 2025 is on BBC One on Saturday 17 May at 8pm.