9pm, ITV1“I think I might have found my paradise,” says Noel Edmonds, gazing out across the majestic New Zealand landscape as this barmy series continues. In truth, this is an episode that pushes Noel’s Zen calmness to the limit. Rain has kept visitors away from the bar-restaurant and a sharp frost could destroy the vineyard. It’s a good job he has his voluminous collection of motivational catchphrases (“When it rains, look for the rainbows”) to make sense of it all.Phil Harrison
8pm, Channel 4The squirrelling urge starts early: Shane has been collecting records, jewellery, bikes, lighters and bits of old china since he was 12. Consequently, he’s now renting an incredible six garages to keep on top of it. Can Ronnie and Katie help him reduce his load?Ali Catterall
8pm, Channel 5More seaside fun for Calman as she takes a jaunty trip to Cromer on the north Norfolk coast. She quickly gets the obligatory crab-tasting ticked off before heading to the annual Vintage Sixties festival. She also bumps into comic Helen Lederer, who is revisiting fondly remembered family holidays.PH
9pm, Sky WitnessWay back in the first season of this long-running drama, righteous firefighter Cruz (Joe Miñoso) let a criminal gang leader perish in a blaze (to be fair, he did feel pretty bad about it). Now, that crook’s dodgy cousin is threatening to reveal the truth to Cruz’s bosses … unless he agrees to help with an audacious heist.Graeme Virtue
9.30pm, BBC OneSian Gibson’s 90s-set sitcom opens with a nightmarish prediction of death, disaster and dodgy singing. It’s Alison’s 18th birthday, and Diane is suffering from stress after Sandy’s disappearance. How will she get all her egg and cress sandwiches done?Alexi Duggins
10pm, Channel 4This slightly cringe reality show continues to offer a mixture of hokey intimacy coaching and out-and-out raunch. The series climaxes this week with a sexy pool party designed partly to help Jamie and Sharmayne loosen up. As they get up close and personal with Jen and Marc, a big decision approaches.PH