Everyone told me “the juggle” would get easier when my daughter started reception this year. It was, quite simply, a lie. As any parent of a school-aged child will tell you they’re hardly ever there.
Mothers started exchanging panicked messages about the summer holiday in our class WhatsApp group in May, sharing links to clubs and childcare options they’ve already booked, which all look terrible, and possibly worse than just juggling it all at home. And I only have one child. This week,a UN reportrevealed that millions of people around the world are not having as many children as they would like, and I know why: yes, it’s “the high cost of parenthood”, and for many of us a big part of that is paying for something to do with your offspring when school is not looking after them.
One option is a gymnastic “camp” – which is out of town, only a week long, and finishes by 3pm. I could thrust my five-year-old into a new hobby, but would it really be worth it for just a week? What about the otherfiveof the summer holidays? Assuming I work from home, with a 9am drop-off, I could be back at my desk by 9.45 but then I would have to leave again by 2.30, which hardly seems worth it. By the time we’d got into the swing of things, the camp would have ended and I’d need a new sport lined up to take its place the following Monday.
A few school mums say they’ve booked in with a local private school, over the English border from where I live in Wales. There’s a PE teacher running something open to nearby schools, which also doesn’t cover the whole holiday and would cost a fortune.
The money isn’t really the issue though, because even if you have money, there’s nowhere to go and even the terrible options are always booked up fast. It’s not like there’s an amazing solution and it’s just out of reach – there’s truly just nothing available. And the au pair system waskilled by Brexit, so that’s not an option any longer either.
The problem is, there’s more school leave than parents are legally entitled to take from work, and we’re living in a two-income economy. If two parents added both of their 5.6 weeks of leave together, and were guaranteed the leave they asked for, it still wouldn’t cover the amount of school holiday – and that’s assuming they never took any time off together as a family. The school calendar hasn’t been updated since it was created in the Victorian era, when the way we worked and parented looked very different. To top it all, this generation of boomer grandparents don’t want to help either, because they want to “enjoy retirement” and go on holidays instead.
The standard of parenting expected of us is like nothing history has ever seen. Even when families did have two working parents, like in my family, no one took time off work to look after the kids. They just didn’t look after them. My grandparents would both work and leave my dad to find his own fun until dinner time, but today we would (rightly) call that child neglect. Once he was hit by a car, because he was too young to know you have to look both ways when crossing the road. He was on his way to the beach, with another child, to sail a raft he’d built.In the sea.
And it’s a gendered issue. I haven’t seen any dads in the chat talking about solutions, because for most of them, it’s not a problem. They get to go off and do their work, and attend their conferences, without worrying about it. They don’t get frantic calls from their wives asking them to troubleshoot childcare problems if they dare try to leave the house.
Even part-time jobs arenot properly designed for parents. Part-timers who work three days a week will only be entitled to 16.8 days of leave and the school holidays take up to 13 weeks. And that’s before we get into the inset days and sick days, and who covers them? (It’s mothers; it’s me.)
It doesn’t have to be this way. In other countries, like the US, they shove their children off to overnight camps for nine to 12 weeks at a time. It’s not a perfect solution, but at least people can stay employed. The French, as always, seem to have it right by just taking off for the summer with their gorgeous annual leave.
The most workable solution I’ve seen isAmazon’s “term-time” contract, which allows parents to take 10 weeks of leave a year while keeping a full-time job, with a combination of paid and unpaid holiday leave. They’ve been running the scheme since 2023, and the companyhasn’t crashed and burnedyet. If only more companies could see the benefits – which include a diverse workforce filled with mothers with a host of skills companies are missing out on.
Childcare is infrastructure. Just like we need roads, a public health system and transport, the country needs a childcare solution. Today’s children will pay for your pensions, provide your healthcare and build your roads. But only if we make it possible for people to keep having them.
Rhiannon Picton-James is a freelance journalist and opinion writer. She writes on gender, culture and society