Atrip to a dive bar over the weekend has left me riddled with despair. It was the first time in quite a while that I’d left a house party to Go On Somewhere Else™, and when I arrived at 3am, I noticed that all the other customers were soyoung.
None of them was even alive for the millennium bug, yet they all wear low-rise jeans. While my friends and I singAvril Lavigne’s Complicatedwith eye-watering sincerity, they join in ironically. Hell, they even show their top and bottom teeth when they smile. And, at this party, they were alsoalldrinkingBuzzBallz, curious little single-serve drinks that are becoming as prevalent as tonic wine in that small category of bottles you regularly see balanced precariously on windowsills on a Sunday morning.
A buzzball is a cocktail in a rotund little can or plastic container that fits rather ergonomically into the palm. Sealed with a ringpull at the top, and made with opaque or transparent recycled plastic, they have a pleasing y2k vibe. The company was founded in 2009 by oneMerrilee Kick(a fabulously American name), a teacher who wanted the welly of a cocktail but without the fragility, or ceremony, of drinking it from a cocktail glass.
It’s little wonder that BuzzBallz have picked up pace with gen Z. I’ve written before about the tinnification of booze, and its implications for the drinking habits of the younger generation, but these ones are designed specifically for those among them who actually enjoy drinking.
BuzzBallz come in 200ml measures, and are all at 13.5% ABV, which puts them at the same strength as a medium/large glass of wine. That said, with the help of their high sugar content, Idaresayyou’ll get to where you need to be a lot quicker. There are various flavours, from Chili Mango and Lotta Colada to Tequila ’Rita and Pornstar Martini. (Incidentally, does anyone knowwhy we startedcalling the latter passion fruit martinis? If you’re old enough to drink one, you’re old enough to know what a porn star is, surely?)
So, to the off-licence! My local in east London had five varieties in stock, so I bought one of each. And, on the whole, they’re actually fun and really rather delicious – not as strong as I’d have hoped (it’s only 13.5% ABV), and lacking the acidity of a cocktail made with freshly squeezed lime or lemon.
If you’re comparing BuzzBallz with a fancy cocktail from a glitzy bar, you quite obviously shouldn’t. This is a completely different ballgame, for when you’re after something you can pull from a box of melting ice as if you’re diving for pearls, when it’s hot out and all you want is something cold, simple and sexy to drink.
Strawberry’Rita£3.99 (200ml) Drink Supermarket, 13.5%. A lurid cherry red, but the strawberry doesn’t taste too artificial. Add a squeeze of lime.
Choc Tease£3.99 (200ml) Drink Supermarket, 13.5%. I didn’t expect to enjoy this as much as I did. Like a boozyChocomel. And it tastes strong.
Pornstar Martini£3.99 (200ml) Drink Supermarket, 13.5%. Super-sweet, but good if you like your pornstars more vanilla.
Chili Mango£3.99 (200ml) Drink Supermarket, 13.5%. Really, really good. If a picante margarita is your thing, you’ll get a lot out of this.