My wife has decided she’s done with sex – could it be the menopause?

TruthLens AI Suggested Headline:

"Couple Navigates Challenges of Intimacy During Menopause"

My wife has decided she’s done with sex – could it be the menopause? analysis cover image The Guardian 8.6
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Original Article Source: https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2025/may/13/my-wife-has-decided-shes-done-with-sex-could-it-be-the-menopause
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AI Analysis Average Score: 8.6
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TruthLens AI Summary

The situation described involves a husband grappling with his wife's decision to cease sexual activity, a choice she attributes to her advanced stage of menopause. Although she expresses love for her husband and reassures him that there are no underlying issues or feelings for other men, she has opted for a celibate partnership, leaving him feeling uncertain about the future of their relationship. This shift marks a significant departure from their earlier years together when intimacy played a more prominent role in their lives. The husband's concern is palpable as he fears that the absence of physical intimacy may ultimately jeopardize their bond, creating an emotional limbo for both partners as they navigate this challenging phase of their lives together.

Experts suggest that menopause can significantly impact a woman's libido and may lead to issues such as genital dryness and discomfort during intimacy. Therefore, it is crucial for the husband to engage in open communication with his wife to understand the reasons behind her decision and explore potential solutions collaboratively. This may include accompanying her to medical appointments to address physical discomfort or discussing ways to negotiate intimacy on her terms. While some women might consider hormone therapy to alleviate symptoms and restore libido, such decisions remain personal and should be approached with care. Given their long-term relationship, the recommendation is to avoid hasty conclusions and instead explore the various options available to maintain their connection and support each other emotionally during this transition.

TruthLens AI Analysis

The discussion surrounding the wife’s decision to end her sexual relationship offers insight into intimate partner dynamics, particularly concerning menopause and its effects on sexuality. This article reflects a personal struggle that resonates with many couples facing similar circumstances, thereby highlighting the emotional complexities involved.

Exploring the Underlying Issues

The husband's inquiry into his wife's feelings reveals a deep concern for their relationship's stability. Menopause is known to significantly impact libido, and the article suggests that the wife's decision may stem from physical and emotional challenges associated with this life stage. It prompts readers to consider the potential need for open communication and mutual understanding in relationships, especially when navigating such sensitive topics.

Impact on Relationships

The article emphasizes the husband's emotional turmoil and the potential consequences of a lack of physical intimacy on their relationship. It suggests that while the wife expresses love, her decision creates a sense of limbo for the husband. This dynamic raises critical questions about how couples can adapt to changes in sexual relationships, underscoring the importance of negotiating comfort levels and finding compromises.

Advice from Professionals

The mention of Pamela Stephenson Connolly, a psychotherapist specializing in sexual disorders, lends credibility to the article. Her recommendations for understanding menopause and being supportive indicate that professional insights can help couples navigate difficult conversations about intimacy. The article implies that seeking help can lead to better outcomes in understanding and addressing sexual health issues.

Broader Implications

This narrative may resonate with a broader audience, particularly those in similar situations. It underscores the need for awareness about menopause and its impact on relationships. The article does not appear to conceal information but rather aims to educate and foster dialogue around a topic that is often stigmatized or ignored in society.

Assessment of Manipulation

While the article does not seem overtly manipulative, it does frame the discussion in a way that could evoke sympathy for the husband while also emphasizing the wife's autonomy in her decision. The language used promotes understanding and compassion rather than blame, which can influence public perception positively.

Credibility and Reliability

The information presented appears to be grounded in real-life experiences, supported by professional insights, making it reasonably reliable. However, as with any personal narrative, individual circumstances can vary significantly, and readers should approach such stories with a critical lens.

Unanalyzed Article Content

Source URL: https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2025/may/13/my-wife-has-decided-shes-done-with-sex-could-it-be-the-menopause

My wife has decided she is done with sex. She hasn’t given a particular reason. I asked if there may be a deeper resentment about me– but she saidnot. I asked if she perhapshad feelingsfor other men– but shesaidnot.She is in the later stages of menopause– eight years ago, when we first met,it was a bigger part of her life. But last week she just saidthatalthough she loves me very much, and there areno issues, shedoesn’t want to have sex or anything else.She wantsme to be there for heras acelibate partner,indefinitely, leavingme, faithfully, in limbo.I love her, but I feel the lack of physical intimacycould break us up.

No doubt your wife’s decision is devastating for you, and you may have to decide if this new scenario is possible for you, but it would probably be worth trying to glean more information to help you to understand “Why this? Why now?” Menopause can have a devastating effect on a woman’s libido, and there can be all kinds of other issues such as genital dryness and pain. Learn more about this, then demonstrate your understanding about it to your wife, and inquire about being helpful to her in some way, such as helping her get to doctors’ appointments and being available to listen to her physical and emotional concerns. A sexual compromise might eventually be possible through gentle negotiation, but I imagine it would have to be very much on her terms at this point. Some women elect to boost their hormone levels in one way or another, which can help restore libido, but that is an individual choice. After eight years together I do not recommend that you make a hasty decision to walk away, as there are many avenues to explore.

Pamela Stephenson Connolly is a US-based psychotherapist who specialises in treating sexual disorders.

If you would like advice from Pamela on sexual matters, send us a brief description of your concerns toprivate.lives@theguardian.com(please don’t send attachments). Each week, Pamela chooses one problem to answer, which will be published online. She regrets that she cannot enter into personal correspondence. Submissions are subject to ourterms and conditions.

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Source: The Guardian