My wife caught me wearing her underwear – and the shame is eating me up

TruthLens AI Suggested Headline:

"Man Struggles with Shame After Wife Discovers His Interest in Wearing Women's Underwear"

My wife caught me wearing her underwear – and the shame is eating me up analysis cover image The Guardian 6.8
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Original Article Source: https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2025/may/16/my-wife-caught-me-wearing-her-underwear-and-the-shame-is-eating-me-up
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AI Analysis Average Score: 6.8
These scores (0-10 scale) are generated by Truthlens AI's analysis, assessing the article's objectivity, accuracy, and transparency. Higher scores indicate better alignment with journalistic standards. Hover over chart points for metric details.

TruthLens AI Summary

A man in his early 60s, who has been married for over 25 years, is grappling with feelings of shame and humiliation after his wife discovered him wearing her black lace panties. He identifies as bisexual but has not disclosed this to anyone, including his wife. The incident has strained their relationship, as his wife reacted with anger and suggested he seek therapy to understand his behavior. This comment deeply affected him, leading to feelings of inadequacy and a lack of acceptance of his sexual identity. Despite his attempts to discuss the matter with her, she remains unwilling to engage, expressing that she cannot bear the thought of him in that light. This ongoing emotional turmoil is causing significant distress in his life, as he struggles with both his identity and the dynamics of his marriage.

The desire to wear women’s underwear is not uncommon among heterosexual men, and it can stem from various factors, including childhood experiences. However, when partners discover such interests, they may feel shocked and confused due to societal misconceptions about gender and sexuality. The man's wife’s reaction suggests a need for her to understand the deeper implications of his behavior rather than simply labeling it as a problem that requires fixing. Experts suggest that engaging with a sexuality therapist could be beneficial for both him and his wife, helping to foster understanding and acceptance within their relationship. The hope is that through open communication and professional guidance, they can navigate this sensitive topic and strengthen their bond moving forward.

TruthLens AI Analysis

The article presents a personal narrative about a man grappling with his identity after being discovered wearing women's underwear by his wife. This situation has led to feelings of shame and isolation, and the author seeks guidance on how to navigate this complex issue within the context of his long-term marriage.

Purpose of Publication

The intention behind sharing this story appears to be to shed light on the often-taboo subject of cross-dressing and bisexuality, particularly in heterosexual relationships. By discussing the author's experience, the piece aims to foster understanding and acceptance of diverse sexual identities and preferences, and to encourage open dialogue about these topics.

Community Perception

This narrative seeks to create empathy for individuals who face societal stigma regarding their sexual preferences. It attempts to normalize the experiences of those who enjoy cross-dressing and highlights the potential for misunderstanding in relationships when one partner has unique sexual interests. By addressing these issues, the article contributes to a broader conversation about sexual diversity and acceptance.

Hidden Agendas

There may not be a clear attempt to conceal information, but the article does reflect a desire to promote acceptance of sexual diversity, which could be perceived as a challenge to traditional gender norms. This narrative promotes a progressive view that could be unwelcome in more conservative environments.

Manipulative Elements

While the article does not overtly manipulate the reader, it could be argued that it uses emotional appeal to elicit sympathy for the author's plight. The language is chosen to evoke feelings of compassion and understanding, which could influence readers' perceptions of similar situations.

Truthfulness of the Article

The authenticity of the story hinges on the subjective experiences of the individual involved. The content appears sincere, reflecting genuine emotional struggles. However, without corroborating evidence, the reliability of the specific case is difficult to assess.

Intended Message

The article communicates a message of acceptance and the importance of communication in relationships regarding sexual preferences. It seeks to destigmatize behaviors that are often misunderstood, promoting a more inclusive view of sexuality.

Comparative Context

When viewed alongside other articles discussing gender identity and sexual orientation, this piece aligns with a growing trend in media to highlight personal stories that challenge societal norms. It reflects a cultural shift towards greater acceptance of non-traditional sexual identities.

Potential Societal Impact

The narrative could contribute to increased awareness and dialogue surrounding bisexuality and cross-dressing. This may foster a more accepting environment, potentially influencing social attitudes and policies regarding LGBTQ+ rights and visibility.

Supporting Communities

This article likely resonates with LGBTQ+ communities and allies, particularly those advocating for greater understanding of bisexuality and gender expression. It aims to engage readers who may have similar experiences or who support sexual diversity.

Economic and Market Influence

Though the article may not directly impact stock markets or financial sectors, it could indirectly affect companies and brands associated with LGBTQ+ rights, potentially influencing consumer behavior in those markets.

Global Relevance

This story reflects ongoing discussions about gender and sexuality in contemporary society, making it relevant to current global conversations. The themes of identity and acceptance are universal and resonate across different cultures.

AI Involvement in Writing

It is possible that AI tools were used to refine the article's language for clarity or emotional impact. However, the personal nature of the narrative suggests it is primarily a human experience shared in written form.

Conclusion on Manipulation

While the article promotes understanding and acceptance, it could be seen as subtly manipulative by appealing to readers' emotions to foster sympathy. The framing of the author's shame and desire for acceptance could steer the reader toward a specific empathetic response.

The overall trustworthiness of the article is moderate, as it presents a personal account that may resonate with many but lacks empirical verification. The emotional narrative invites connection but should be considered within the broader context of diverse sexual experiences.

Unanalyzed Article Content

Source URL: https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2025/may/16/my-wife-caught-me-wearing-her-underwear-and-the-shame-is-eating-me-up

I’m in my early 60s and have been happily married formore than 25 years. I’ve come to accept that I’m bisexual buthaven’t told anyone.About two years ago my wife found me wearing a pair of her black lace panties, something I do sometimes as it turns me on. Shewas angry and suggested I needed therapy to “understand why you do that”. The comment was humiliating and made me feel ashamed. I don’t know what to do. I’ve tried talking to her about it, but she just saysshe can’t bear to think ofme like that andrefuses todiscuss it. It’s eating me up.

Enjoying wearing women’s underwear does not make you bisexual, but perhaps you also have erotic feelings towards both men and women? Either way, it might be helpful for you to discuss your sexual self with a sexuality therapist because you do not deserve to feel ashamed and humiliated.

An erotic interest in wearing women’s clothing is relatively common among heterosexual men. Some find it very soothing, and the desire often starts in childhood or during teenage years. But female partners of men who like to cross-dress are often shocked and bewildered when they become aware of this interest – largely based on a lack of understanding and fears about what it means in the context of their relationship.

When your wife said you needed to understand why you do this, she really meant thatsheneeded to understand. I hope you can eventually help her with that.

Pamela Stephenson Connolly is a US-based psychotherapist who specialises in treating sexual disorders.

If you would like advice from Pamela on sexual matters, send us a brief description of your concerns toprivate.lives@theguardian.com(please don’t send attachments). Each week, Pamela chooses one problem to answer, which will be published online. She regrets that she cannot enter into personal correspondence. Submissions are subject to ourterms and conditions.

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Source: The Guardian