Relationships are all about compromise, but there are some areas where it’s simply impossible. Then it becomes about a mutually beneficial workaround instead. A poll has revealed that 55% of couples regularly argue over which TV show to watch: hot on the heels of thesleep divorce(different bedrooms) are we headed for the screen divorce (different tellies)?
Don’t mean to boast, but my husband and I are one step ahead of this trend – screen separated, if you will. In the Venn diagram of programmes we enjoy, the intersection is big enough to fit the words Taskmaster and The Traitors, and that’s about it. He’s tried to lure me into his televisual world, I’ve tried to tempt him into mine, but no dice. Eventually, we realised one of us was always watching through gritted teeth, while the other felt guilty. And so, just like the courageous pioneers of the sleep divorce, who made the decision to prioritise healthy rest above convention, we needed to take action. To divide and conquer.
We’re much more romantic than couples who sit in separate rooms for their viewing, though. Our love language? Headphones. We take it in turns to watch the TV out loud, or on the tablet with AirPods, but – crucially – we sit next to each other, on the same sofa.
To the outside eye, it may appear that we’re completely ignoring each other, him lost in a world of endless sport, or the YouTube adventures of an off-grid family building a yurt in the woods; me guiltily consuming Real Housewives franchises faster than broadcasters can announce them. But technically we’re spending time together, so there. In fact maybe this is less screen divorce, and more like those who LAT (Live Apart Together)? We’re WAT (Watching Apart Together), happily ever after.