Introversion is rarely useful, but it saved me a fortune in my younger years. So keenly did I loathe going to the shops that I just didn’t spend much money. I was perfectly happy, albeit a little bored and usually dressed in the same clothes.
Then online shopping happened. The lure of one-click, next-day consumables unleashed my inner impulse buyer like a starving castaway at a buffet. I never quite became a shopping addict, but the thrill of home delivery fuelled a period of slightly unhinged affluenza. My house filled with stuff while my bank account drained. I accumulated retro camera kit (70% unused to this day), expensive books about using said camera kit (100% unread) and an untold number of dresses that I bought only because I could send them back for free. I never did send them back, of course, and I never wore them, because I never wear dresses. But they were so pretty.
Ending up with no money sure helped kill the habit, but I don’t want to be in that position again, so I’ve since learned healthier strategies. It’s not about spending nothing, it’s about targeting your spending on things you genuinely want. Here I’ll share my tips on how to curb your enthusiasm for “Buy now”.
Online shopping is a marvel of convenience and a financial death trap. Just as the advent of remote shopping triggered a spending binge for me, the pandemic sparked anonline shopping frenzythat has never really ended, withonline retail spending continuing to reach record highs. Good news for the economy, perhaps, but bad news for your pocket and arguably yourmental health.
If you find it hard to say “no” when gazing at a product page – any product page – switch it for “maybe”. Bookmark that tempting item in a “might buy” folder, save it to a wishlist or use Amazon’s “Save for later” button. I’ve found that the “maybe” often turns to “no” in the end, or at least to an “I can’t be bothered”, which saves just as much money.
Making shopping lists helps you buy less, not more, in my experience. It focuses your mind on the things you need and want, and reveals in black and white how much you’re set to spend before you spend it. Adding an item to “Save for later” or to a shopping list, whether on paper or via a site such asWishList, is a sort of placebo buying buzz. It’s less immediately visceral than the high you get from clicking “Buy now”, but without the comedown realisation that you’ve just spent money on another superfluous thing.
If you find yourself straying helplessly to certain sites for regular hits of retail therapy, set time and date limits. Compartmentalise your itch.Some former shopping addicts on Redditadvise setting one day a month to shop on trigger websites such as Asos and Amazon. My fear with this strategy is that you’d try to squeeze as much shopping as possible into your allotted time, so I recommend setting a budget, too, and limiting the number of items you can buy.
Birthdays and Christmas can trigger buying binges in the irresistible guise of generosity, so set a budget and stick to it. Your recipient won’t love you more if you buy them a 12th, 13th or 14th present. If you enjoy buying presents, good for you – but buy them occasionally and mindfully all year round, and keep track of what you’ve bought.
Retailer newsletters and social media are effective marketing tools, luring you in with the promise (and flattery) of exclusive super-fan discounts. That craft beer newsletter about time-limited free delivery for new releases just got you to spend £50 while you were bored at 3pm on a Tuesday. If you can afford it and it gives you joy, then great – but if you suspect it’s becoming a habit and you want to spend less, that newsletter subscription is best cancelled.
Sales and preloved platforms such as Vinted also feel exempt from the usual rules, because you’re saving money – right? Well, no, you’re spending it.Black Fridayand other marketing feast days are spendthrift catnip, and retailers depend on you to spend, spend, spend. And as with discounts, secondhand can be a fantastic source of quality items that’d otherwise cost a fortune, but if you’re vulnerable to impulse overbuying, they’re still best avoided.
Don’t let us put you off discount sales completely. Done right, they’re among our favourite things. If you’re after a particular high-quality item that you’ve coveted at full price and have budgeted for, a sale is an excellent opportunity to buy it – and there’s every chance you’ll use it and love it for years. It could be atimeless coat, a device you’ll use every day or a piece of furniture you’ll use for ever. Having a beloved investment piece cleaned, mended and maintained is much more satisfying than the temporary thrill of buying a new thing.
Sign up toThe Filter
Get the best shopping advice from the Filter team straight to your inbox. The Guardian’s journalism is independent. We will earn a commission if you buy something through an affiliate link.
after newsletter promotion
Clothes are an especially powerful illustration of the value of quality over quantity. One investment piece may cost the same as 300 T-shirts from a high-street store, but the ethical and environmental cost could be much lower – and not only because you’re buying fewer items. Fast fashion is a grotesquely unethical business, and educating yourself about it is a powerful way to kill the habit. Its manufacture createsmountains of wasteand pollution andcontravenes human rights, and the throwaway habit it encouragescreates another waste mountain– most of which is landfill.
If that’s not enough to curb your impulse buying, think about the packaging your purchases entail. The “free returns” model of online fashion generates billions of plastic bags and haulage miles, but clothes are far from the only offenders. The packaging I saw (usually while struggling under a pile of it) when reviewingthe best mattressesastounded me, and it seemed so needless. Even if you order a small bottle of perfume, it’ll come encased in its own inflated plastic spacesuit that can’t be recycled. Head to a shop if you hanker after something you can buy locally. Not only will you be supporting local businesses, but you’ll use less packaging and can see or try it out in person. You may decide you don’t really fancy it after all.
However great the quality of the thing you’re buying, it’s still wasted money if you buy it for the wrong reasons. Buying for the person you wish you were (“I WILL diet into this”; “I can’t afford it but …”), to impress others (“he said he likes women in heels”) and Fomo (“what if I miss out on a bargain?”) are as responsible for just as many unwanted purchases as the dopamine rush of impulse buying.
Buy for the person you are, the body you have, the taste you have and the life you live. I’ve found this easier as I’ve grown older, not least because I know myself better and have less need to please other people. Ageing does present its own shopping challenges (changing shape, for example), but don’t feel pressed to buy a whole new wardrobe to suit your age. If you love an item and it fits you, it’s not “too young” for you. Bonus points if you’ve had it for decades.
Fast fashion is often made for very young and thin wearers. If the Primark dressing room mirror fills you with self-loathing because the “medium” jeans won’t do up, it’s not you, it’s them. If you have lost weight and you’re happy about it, then go ahead and buy for your new shape, but don’t turn your purchase into a stick to beat yourself with when you gain a few pounds.
My indiscriminate spending phase turned my home into a mini landfill. It’s taken years of charity donations, eBaying and a small, carefully organised “keep” pile to restore the sense that I own it rather than it owning me. Even if you haven’t amassed your own personal junkyard, systematically going through your stuff can have a big positive impact on your mood and spending habits.
You don’t have to go toKondoextremes. Just tidy your stuff to remember what you already have. This is especially true for the things you love buying – books, clothes, shoes, accessories, kitchenware, kit for hobbies or whatever – because they trigger the biggest impulse-buying buzz, even though you already have so much of it. Going through it, you’ll have moments of absolute delight (for free!) when you come across beloved items that got buried and forgotten.
Sorting your clothes is also a useful reminder that your judgment isn’t at its best when you’re impulse buying. Are you ever going to wear those wide-leg PVC trousers that wouldn’t look good on a Hadid sister, let alone (no offence) you? Get rid. Donate to charity, have a clothes swap session with friends, or at least sell oneBayorVinted. Charities including theBritish Heart FoundationandOxfampay postage for your donation parcel. If you want to be really strict, set yourself a “one in, one out” rule: every time you buy a new item, sell or donate an old one.
Just don’t get too attached to a donate/sell habit. It may encourage you to buy stuff while kidding yourself that “I can always sell it”. Better to treat each purchase as a forever buy. Here’s a pass for an additional buy, though:get a sewing machine, and you’ll be able to keep your clothes fresh and well-fitting for years.
Jane Hoskyn is a freelance journalist who’s spent more than 30 years writing about, and often failing to resist, the consumer temptations of the internet. She wrote the first edition of eBay for Dummies, covered Amazon’s growth from bookstore to global power, and has tested everything from smartwatches to solar panels. She would always rather be in the woods