‘Likability labour’ – why it’s time for women to stop being nice at work

TruthLens AI Suggested Headline:

"Report Highlights Pressure on Women to Conform to Workplace Likability Standards"

‘Likability labour’ – why it’s time for women to stop being nice at work analysis cover image The Guardian 7.2
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Original Article Source: https://www.theguardian.com/society/2025/may/19/likability-labour-why-its-time-for-women-to-stop-being-nice-at-work
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AI Analysis Average Score: 7.2
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TruthLens AI Summary

The concept of 'likability labour' highlights the pressures women face in the workplace to be perceived favorably by their colleagues. A recent report titled 'Shapeshifters: What We Do at Work to Be Liked,' conducted by the training company Good Shout, surveyed over 1,000 individuals and revealed that women experience a greater burden to be liked compared to men. According to Amy Kean, the sociologist behind the report, this expectation is deeply rooted in cultural norms that require women to balance competence with warmth and assertiveness with agreeability. The findings indicate that 56% of women feel the need to be likable, compared to only 36% of men, underscoring a significant disparity in workplace dynamics based on gender. Women often find themselves in roles that require them to adopt nurturing behaviors, such as being the 'office mum' who organizes social events and supports colleagues emotionally while also striving to be competent and respected in their professional roles.

Moreover, the report highlights that women frequently alter their communication styles to conform to these likability standards. They are more likely than men to use disclaimers such as, 'I might be wrong, but...' or to seek validation for their ideas, indicating a lack of confidence that is not as prevalent among their male counterparts. The report notes that 33% of women fear being perceived as overly confident, and 50% withhold their true opinions to maintain likability. This 'likability labour' not only hampers women's ability to express themselves authentically but also diminishes their creative energy and innovation. While issues such as the glass ceiling and gender pay gaps remain pressing concerns, the emotional toll of conforming to these likability standards further complicates the professional landscape for women, revealing the multifaceted challenges they face in striving for equality in the workplace.

TruthLens AI Analysis

The article sheds light on the concept of "likability labour," a term that highlights the societal pressures women face in professional environments to be liked. This pressure manifests in various ways, affecting their behavior, communication style, and overall workplace dynamics. The discussion focuses on a report that reveals significant disparities between men and women regarding the pressure to be likable.

Societal Expectations and Gender Dynamics

The concept of likability labour emphasizes the longstanding cultural expectation that women must balance competence with warmth and assertiveness with agreeability. This societal norm is not only pervasive across various industries but also deeply embedded in workplace culture. The report indicates that 56% of women feel this pressure compared to only 36% of men, suggesting a systemic issue that affects women's professional experiences and opportunities.

Effects on Professional Behavior

Women often alter their communication styles to fit these likability standards, frequently using qualifiers such as “I might be wrong, but…” or seeking affirmation with phrases like “Does that make sense?” This self-doubt and tendency to seek approval could hinder their performance and limit their contributions to innovation and creativity within their roles. The findings highlight a troubling trend where women feel compelled to suppress their opinions and emotions to conform to these expectations.

Potential Implications for Workplace Culture

The implications of likability labour extend beyond individual experiences; they have the potential to stifle innovation and creativity within organizations. By prioritizing likability over authenticity, companies may inadvertently create an environment where diverse ideas and perspectives are undervalued, ultimately impacting their overall success and adaptability in a competitive market.

Public Perception and Awareness

The article aims to raise awareness about these gender biases in the workplace and encourage discussions on how to address them. By framing the issue as a shared societal concern, it seeks to foster greater understanding and support for women striving to assert themselves in professional settings without the burden of conforming to likability standards.

Trustworthiness of the Information

The article appears to be based on a credible report, which adds to its reliability. However, the framing of the issue and the emotional language used could indicate an agenda to provoke a reaction or drive change in workplace culture. The concerns raised are valid, but the presentation could lead to polarization if not approached with a balanced perspective.

In conclusion, this article highlights significant challenges faced by women in the workplace due to societal expectations surrounding likability. It calls for a reevaluation of these norms to create a more equitable work environment.

Unanalyzed Article Content

Source URL: https://www.theguardian.com/society/2025/may/19/likability-labour-why-its-time-for-women-to-stop-being-nice-at-work

Name:Likability labour.

Age:The phrase is new, but as a thing it’s almost certainly been going on for ever.

I’m guessing this has nothing to do with the political party currently in powerin the UK, because people seem to be finding it hard to like them at the moment?Not that Labour, no. It’s about women in the workplace.

Them, I do like.Well, maybe that’s part of the issue.

Oh. How so?There’s a report …

Thought there would be… calledShapeshifters: What We Do at Work to Be Liked, which, after surveying more than 1,000 people, discovered that women feel greater pressure to be liked at work and in life.

Why?The pressure for women to be likable is “a culturally entrenched demand that transcends industries and job titles,” saysAmy Kean, a sociologist and author of the report, published by training company Good Shout. “Women are expected to balance competence with warmth, assertiveness with agreeability, and combine authority with overt humility.”

Got some numbers for us?Of course: 56% of women feel pressure to be likeable, compared with 36% of men.

So how does this manifest itself – what do women do?Kean says: “They’re supposed to be the office mum, taking notes in meetings while softly whipping everybody into shape and baking cakes on Fridays in order to be as palatable as possible.”

The cakes?No! The female employees. And it’s not just about what they do, it’s about what they say as well.

Go on.Women are often twice as likely as men to use phrases such as, “I might be wrong, but …” and, “Does that make sense?”

Does it? Make sense?Yes, and they know it does! But 33% of women worry about coming across as too confident (compared to 16% of men), and 50% say they hold back their true opinions in order to be liked (compared to 35% of men). More than a third of women try to “smile more”.

And I’m thinking this likability labour doesn’t pay, does it?Not only does it not pay, the report says it is “draining creative energy, muffling innovation and punishing authenticity”.

Otherwise it’s pretty much a level playing field, right?Ha! Yes, of course. Unless you take into account the glass ceiling, the gender pay gap, the patriarchy andemotional labour(the effort required to keep everything running smoothly). Not to mention mental load (also known ascognitive household labour), and other unpaid labour that women take on at home …

Do say:(Without looking up, certainly without smiling) “Just leave it there, on my desk, thanks.”

Don’t say:“Sorry to ask but could you possibly do that thing that is literally your job to do …”

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Source: The Guardian