Late-night hosts react toDonald Trumpsendingtroops to Los Angelesin response toproteststo hisimmigration raids, and dispute the Fox News narrative of insurrection.
Jimmy Kimmeltore into Donald Trump in front of a full house in Hollywood, “which might be surprising to you in other parts of the country who’ve been watching cable news and believe this city is some sort of totalitarian hellscape right now”, he noted. “It most certainly is not.”
Kimmel showed footage of life as usual outside the studio inLos Angeles– “not only is it not an apocalypse, they’re having a Disney Pixar movie premiere right now” – in contrast to the Fox News narrative of a violent insurrection. And he tore into the president, first for pursuing brutal raids on immigrants working in the city, arresting and detaining thousands without due process.
“I’m very angry,” he said. “I cannot believe what’s going on. I knew it was going to be bad. I did not know it was going to be this bad. People who have lived here their whole lives, people who have been in this city longer than I have, the vast majority of whom have never done anything wrong are being abducted – which is the correct word to use – by agents in masks hiding their identities. Grabbing people off the street and at work, and sending people to detention centers.”
“And to protest that, which is not only our right as Americans, it’s our responsibility, Los Angelenos have been gathering to demonstrate – with very few exceptions, peacefully demonstrate – to voice their opposition to this disgusting and unnecessary abuse of power instigated by our mentally ill president.”
Trump, he added, is “dead-set on exacerbating this. He actually wants conflict. He is intentionally inflaming and lying to make it seem like there’s a war going on here. He wants there to be a war going on here, and he doesn’t care who gets hurt in it. There’s no riot outside. We have more so-called unrest here when one of our teams wins a championship. But that’s not what you’re seeing on TV.”
“Trump wants it to seem like anarchy, so he goes around our governor, he calls in 4,000 troops from the national guard, 700 active marines,” Kimmel continued. “You know, when we had the wildfires that devastated big chunks of our city, he did absolutely nothing. Now that we’re in the middle of a non-emergency, send in the national guard!”
The president, Kimmel added, “lies about everything, but it’s especially maddening when it’s about a situation you are physically in. Everyone in this room right now knows that none of these doomsday scenarios the president and his minions keep imagining aloud are remotely true. There are no mobs. There’s no violent insurrection. There are Americans who are upset, marching to protect their neighbors, no matter what this sick person says.”
“Donald Trump created this problem,” he concluded. “He’s putting the police and the military in danger. He is the one deporting children and their parents without any process. He’s the one who has Ice agents outside immigration offices arresting the people who showed up to do the right thing and check in with the immigration office.”
“This is not a problem we have, this is a problem he made, and is intentionally doing everything he can to make it worse,” he added. “He is purposefully pitting Americans against each other to create protest porn for Fox News.”
On The Late Show,Stephen Colbertlooked ahead to a massive military parade in Washington DC this weekend. The parade, nominally for Flag Day, will feature 7,500 soldiers, 28 Abrams tanks, 50 military helicopters, 28 Stryker armored vehicles, a display of rocket launchers and missiles, plus 34 horses, two mules and a dog. “This is dictator stuff,” said Colbert. “An unprecedented peacetime display of military hardware on American soil, and all I can say is: not enough mules!”
The parade is also supposed to commemorate the 250th anniversary of the American military’s founding, though it just so happens to coincide with the president’s 79th birthday. “A military parade in Washington? That’s just for his 79th. For his 80th, he’s going to make the whole army go on a girl’s trip to Nashville,” Colbert quipped.
“If you’re keeping track, the running tally of reasons for Trump’s big boom-boom parade are: Flag Day, the 250th Army anniversary and also, for some reason, winning World War II 80 years ago,” Colbert noted before a clip of Trump in the Oval Office claiming that “we’re the only country that didn’t celebrate the victory”.
According to the secretary of the army, there’s yet another reason for the parade: to tell the public about the army. “Well, thank goodness!” Colbert joked. “Because without this parade, the American people would have no awareness of any of our military branches, unless they watch before a football game, during a football game, the football game post-show or if they live in Los Angeles, California.”
“By now, you’ve probably seen all the protest footage coming out of LA in the wake of Trump’s immigration sweeps,” said Desi Lydic on The Daily Show. “But despite what you’re seeing on the news, keep in mind that most of the protesters have come with more of a chill SoCal vibe.” Lydic cut to footage of protesters dancing, playing music and blowing bubbles. “So there’s definitely a chance that this can all be resolved peacefully, as long as nobody escalates this thing with an unnecessary force, we’ll be A-OK.”
Not so, after Trump sent in 4,000 national guard troops over the objections of the California governor, Gavin Newsom, as well as 700 active duty marines. “Nothing calms down a situation like a military invasion,” Lydic joked. “In fact, that was part of my birth plan. I was like, ‘Honey, I want candles, classical music and 700 armed marines storming the hospital room.’”
“You know, I’m beginning to wonder if Trump is intentionally trying to escalate this situation, because more chaos allows him to portray blue states as centers of crime while positioning himself as a strongman that the country needs to rally around … ,” Lydic quipped. “No, that’s silly. I’m sure he’s just doing what’s best for everyone.”
And on Late Night,Seth Meyersreferred to a new interview in which Trump said that Elon Musk had been “disrespectful” to the office of the president. “And if the guy selling these thinks that’s bad … ,” Meyers said, referring to Trump’s Superman-styled digital tokens, adding in his Trump voice: “He has no respect for the office I’m putting on Airbnb!”
Trump, meanwhile, is set to attend the opening night of Les Misérables this week at the Kennedy Center. “It’s the story of a convicted criminal who struggles to find redemption by going to see Les Misérables at the Kennedy Center,” Meyers joked. “‘Les Misérables’ is French for how Trump will feel while sitting through it.”
And finally, the fast-food chain Chipotle is set to launch a new adobo ranch dip. “And then about four hours later, you’ll launch it,” Meyers joked.