I’m obsessed with the BBC Radio 4 programme, Nigel Havers’ Ravers, where you recount your experiences during the ecstasy-fuelled 90s summers of love. I’ve never been sure if it was a) genuine, b) a brilliant and strange parody, or c) a fever dream of my own imagination. What’s the truth, Nigel?UncleMontyI just don’t remember it, so I’m Googling it … “Dermot O’Leary, Nigel Havers Ravers, the definitive guide to the 90s underground rave scene from a man who lived through it.” Raves are where people go mad, take a load of drugs and dance all night, right? I don’t think I’ve been to a rave in my life. I must have been bullshitting.
I had you in my cab once in Sydney, where you were expounding to your fellow passengers that you could identify the drama school of any young performer on stage. That was 35 years ago, mate. Still the case, you reckon?moodmeisterI don’t know what I meant by that, so I’m afraid that’s also bollocks.Do you still ask parked motorists to switch off their engines?gregc1381All the time. I tap on the window and say: “Do you mind turning your engine off?” The majority go: “Oh, sorry, quite right,” but a few do say: “Fuck off, what are you talking about?” I carry a little card that explains that an idling exhaust expels 150 balloons full of toxic air per minute. If nobody idled in Greater London tomorrow, it would cut pollution by a third. I know this because I was a Stop Idling ambassador for Westminster Council. I’m a fierce anti-idler.Do you have a portrait in your attic that is mysteriously ageing? You look exactly the same as you did 40 years ago.Megatron66Yes, but don’t tell anyone.
Did you enjoy working with Michael Caine when you played his son in the1986 movie, The Whistle Blower?SpluttererHe was absolutely brilliant. He took me out to lunch the week before we started shooting and said: “Nigel, are you gonna talk like me or shall I posh up?” I said: “I think you should posh up.” He said: “No worries.” On the first day, they went: “Action” and he went [does Michael Caine impression]: “Hello, son.” That was his posh-up. It was fantastic. We still see each other regularly. He still calls me “son”.
Empire of the Sun was one of the first western-made films to shoot in China. What was that like?MarkFilmgoerWe weren’t there very long, to be honest. The suburbs of Shanghai were actually Ascot and the concentration prison camp was in Jerez in Spain. We were only in China for about 10 days.
Did Hollywood come calling after Chariots of Fire’s Oscar haul?Galdove19No. We didn’t expect to win at the Oscars. Afterwards, we went to these big parties and [producer] David Puttnam said: “Tomorrow, I want you to meet three film directors …” I said: “I can’t, I’ve got to go back tomorrow to film Jackanory,” and flew back, hence why I’m not living in Bel Air …
How did you feel filming the wonderful beach scene in Chariots?DeborahGellerIt was a long, long day. Each take was a mile. A month later, David Puttnam said there was a problem developing the film – there was a scratch – so we had to do it again. But the weather and the waves were much better second time.
Do you hum the theme music to Chariots of Fire to yourself?strcilovoI hum it all day, every day.
You have an ability to make a TV character linger in the viewer’s mind after the show. Is that something you do consciously?MountainAspectAbsolutely not. As I’ve always said, I’m a letterbox actor. A script comes through the letterbox. I do it.If you could choose a surprising project – one that completely goes against the grain of what the audience expects – what would it be?SpoonfulMeshuggahI’d like to play a villain in a gangster film, preferably directed by Guy Ritchie. I do feel typecast playing the nice English guy, but I never complain because I’m just lucky to be cast. I’ll have a word with Guy Ritchie. I did pop up in The Gentlemen … pissed. I have played a bad guy, in The Charmer. He was so bad, I thought: “Is it a good idea?” Then ITV said: “We want to do another one.” I said: “How can we? I’m dead! They hang me!” They said: “There are ways we can get around that.” Years ago – Barbara Broccoli [producer] is a great friend of mine – I put it about that I was going to be the next Bond villain, and it was all over the internet. Barbara rang and said: “I understand you’re playing the villain?” I said: “Can I?” She said: “Only if you have plastic surgery to look like you’re Korean.”I’ve seen you atCraven Cottage. Are you a Fulham fan?ArthurScagfootI’ve been a great Fulham fan since I was a teenager and could walk to the stadium. So is Hugh Grant, although we’ve never been together – but I have asked. The last time, he said: “I can’t come, I’m filming, but throw another coin at the linesman for me.”What possessed you to enter the [I’m A Celebrity] Jungle?LeeBirchIt was a big mistake. I’d never watched the show, so I had no idea what it entailed. You think it looks bad on TV. Shit, it was terrible. It was the boredom more than anything. There was a bloke called Lembit Öpik, the politician. After a couple of days, I wanted to kill him. Had I stayed, I would’ve killed him and I’d be in prison now. So it seemed like a good idea to leave.
How was makingFarewell to the King? It looked pretty gruelling!writeronthestormJohn Milius is an incredible writer/director. Nick Nolte became a great mate. He wasn’t frightened of a pint, put it like that. He could drink anyone under the table. In the morning, he was so hungover, he’d have his makeup done lying down on a mattress in the jungle. He’s a wonderful actor, but they’d go: “Action,” and he’d go “[mumbles low, rough voice]”, and I’d have to say: “Sorry, Nick, I don’t understand a fucking word you’re saying.”
How much fun was it playing keyboardistTony PebbleinA Life of Rock With Brian Pern?Aubrey26Great fun. People believed we were a real band. One Sunday night in the West End, we did a show and it was completely full. Actors do harbour a secret desire to be rock stars. Iwasa rock star. My brother and I were in a band called January and released a record in 1968. We had the long hair, hooray hippy look. I’m sure photos exist, but gladly, I can’t seem to find any.
Watching you inDon’t Wait Upwas one of my formative experiences growing up in the 1980s. No other man in my life has ever lived up to Dr Tom Latimer. Please tell me you enjoyed making it as much as I enjoyed watching it?AtheneBergenI have to say it was one of the happiest times. They don’t repeat it, do they? I think the BBC think it’s too posh to repeat.
Who would you want to play you in a biopic?ThankYouJohnTheo James, because he’s so good-looking. I can play the villain.Has Nigel Farage ruined being called Nigel for all other Nigels?PickleManNo, because Nigel is such an awful name. No one has been christened Nigel for 20 years. More people have been christened Lucifer than Nigel. It’s already ruined. Do we all hang out, me, Farage, Planer, Lawson, Kennedy? No. But someone once wrote to me and said every year they have a Nigel get-together, would I like to come? I thought: “Christ. A load of Nigels in the room, I can’t think of anything worse …”
As told to Rich Pelley
Nigel Havers Talking Bollocksis at Royal Hall, Harrogateon 25 April,Playhouse Theatre, Liverpool on 26 April,Yvonne Arnaud Theatre, Guildford on 16 May andTheatre Severn, Shrewsbury on 21 May.