Following the second weekend of Copa Gianni, Fifa were eager to flag up a number of fraternal firsts. In scoring for Borussia Dortmund and Real Madrid, Jude and Jobe Bellingham became the first brothers in history to score in the same tournament – “We’re 1-1 now,” honked Jude after his goal – while Francesco Pio Esposito became the first player to replace his brother when he came on for his Inter debut in place of elder sibling Sebastiano in the win over Urawa Red Diamonds. Meanwhile in Atlanta, the United Arab Emirates vice president and Manchester City chief suit, Sheikh Mansour, emerged with family bragging rights after his club’s reserve team trampled Al Ain, who are presided over by his older brother Sheikh Mohamed bin Zayed Al Nahyan, into the dirt.
Somewhat bizarrely, the weekend also marked the first occasion a team’s substitutes elected to stay in the dressing-room for the first half of one of their games after the players named on the Dortmund bench for their win over Mamelodi Sundowns proved they are no match for mad dogs or Englishmen by opting to leave their uncovered touchline seats vacant in favour of kicking back in the comparative cool of the stadium bowels to stave off the unpleasant sound and smell of their own skin slowly cooking in the midday Ohio heat. “Our subs watched the first half [on TV] from inside the locker room to avoid the blazing sun at TQL Stadium – never seen that before, but in this heat, it absolutely makes sense,” wrote the Dortmund comms team on some Social Media Disgrace or other. Given their laissez-faire attitude to player welfare that practically borders on the downright negligent, we can almost certainly expect a diktat ordering substitutes from all teams to sit in their official Fifa-designated pitchside seats or risk incurring a hefty fine and the tournament’s organiser’s not inconsiderable wrath.
The searing mid-afternoon heat of Orlando may well create a shimmer in the air on Thursday, when Juventus and Manchester City are scheduled to go toe-to-toe in Group G, with the likely prize of getting RB Salzburg instead of Real Madrid in the last 16 for whoever wins. A draw will be enough for Juventus to top the group although given the strong likelihood that both sets of players will finish their match burnt to a crisp and delirious from heat exhaustion, you could send them out to face Snow White, all seven dwarves, Donald Duck, Goofy and Mickey Mouse from the well known nearby theme park and not one of them would even notice, let alone care. Having shuffled his pack like a Vegas croupier and fielded a completely different starting 11 to City’s opener against Wydad, Pep Guardiola seems pretty relaxed about who his side face in the knockout stages. “What’s important is we’re in the next phase,” he parped, before ordering a tanker full of factor 50 for the trip to the furnace that will be the Camping World Stadium on Thursday afternoon.
Coleen is a princess and her parents are queen and king, and Wayne is a warrior. They get together, they split up, she’s broken-hearted and he goes on a quest to find the ring and re-propose to her. The theatre says they’ve never done anything like this before” – Helen Serafinowicz, the writer behind TV hit series Motherland,has announced her next project: ‘The Legend of Rooney’s Ring’, a Game-of-Thrones inspired summer pantomime about Wayne and Coleen Rooney, loosely based on a rumour that the couple once had a big argument in the car which ended with Coleen hurling an engagement ring out of the car, which led to Liverpool locals taking to the streets with metal detectors. Not the theatre we expected, but the theatre we need.
Thanks for the link in Friday’s Football Daily to your article on Eintracht Frankfurt’s hot transfer target, Hugo Ekitike (Still Want More, full email edition). Ever since I watched Monty Python’s Dead Parrot sketch as a kid I’ve been on the lookout for palindromes. Any chance that Ekitike will eschew the bigger European clubs and sign for Ipswich? Or Bolton?” – R Reisman.
Quite how do you propose Milos Kerkez gets straight from the M40 to the M6 on his way from Bournemouth up to Liverpool (Friday’s News, Bits and Bobs, full email edition)? The M42 would be the logical manner, though if it’s particularly busy northbound near Birmingham airport, he could head west to the M5 and then north past West Bromwich” – Matt Hard.
If Marcus Rashford’s Mr 15% really can get hima transfer from the debacle formerly known as Manchester United to Barcelona, we should give him the Ballon D’or (the Mr 15% that is, not Rashford, obviously). No one, not even the great Lamine Yamal, will have put in a better performance this year. And, an extra nod to the agent for subtlety, getting him to do a timely interview with a Spanish YouTuber for no reason in particular” – Noble Francis.
Please send your letters tothe.boss@theguardian.com.Today’s winner of our prizeless letter o’ the day competition is…Noble Francis.Terms and conditions for our competitions, when we run them, can be viewedhere.
Join Max Rushden and the Football Weekly pod squad as they dare ask the question: is the Copa Gianni actually …quite good fun?
Santi Cazorla has rolled back the years to guide Real Oviedo back into La Liga for the first time in 24 years, scoring in the second leg ofa 3-2 aggregate victory over promotion playoff opponents Mirandés.What was Cazorla doing 31 years ago? He was coming through the Real Oviedo academy. “At 40 years old I think this is the greatest thing I’ve ever experienced,” declared the married father of two. “I’ve been lucky enough to experience great things with Spain and with the clubs that I’ve been with, winning many trophies, but nothing compares to this … I grew up here, I have my friends, my family. I’ll be an Oviedo fan all my life. This makes it very special.” You may or may not be shocked to learn that Sid Lowe wanted towrite a few wordson the matter.
This is an extract from our daily football email … Football Daily. To get the full version,just visit this page and follow the instructions.